At the end of 2010, I realized a need to revamp the relationships in my life, by changing the way I related to people. It seemed like a small change, but it turned out to be a much harder road to travel than I had guessed it would be. In the end, though, it was worth it.
The relationships I have today (all but one), compared to a year ago, are ever everything I had hoped they would be. That one -- if you are reading, you know who you are -- went the way I expected it to, despite what I wanted, and I don't know that I could have done anything different. I did everything I knew to do.
And for the last few months, I have stood at a cross road, wondering which direction to take. Wondering if my journey was to continue, or if I should hang up my traveling hat. Then, a month ago, the direction became clear. It is time to turn from internal things, to external things.It is time to focus on making my house a home -- the kind of home I always dreamed it would be.
As some of you know, I have been remodeling my kitchen for months. A little here and a little there, as I have the time and inspiration, squeezed between homeschooling, Awana, Teakwondo, and making other things. It is time to finish! Get the last cabinets up, have the builder install the flooring, repaint (nearly) everything.
It is not that this idea is new, but with the me I have become, the ideas are sharp and clear. I am no longer intimidated by everyone else's ideas. I no longer feel a need to conform or please society. The building I do is for me and my household, not resale value. If someone doesn't like what I have done, they can replace it! (Assuming we ever sell.)
Besides remodeling and decorating, I want to learn to really keep house. It's not that I don't know how to pick up after myself or clean nearly everything, but it is not a natural part of my thinking. I am an 'out of sight, out of mind' type of person. I forget that rooms in my house exist, if I don't see them frequently -- okay, not really truly forget, but I do forget in such a way that they might as well not exist, because they certainly are not being used the way they might. I want to change that.
I want housekeeping to come naturally, like it seemed to for one of my grandmas. I never saw much clutter in her house. I never saw a mess, even when making Christmas candy with her, and I never heard her mention the cleaning she had done.
I think that last point is what strikes me most. My mom's house was always immaculate, and my other grandmas, always clean, but they always let you know about the work they had done. It was always a big deal, and it seemed to take more time than it should. So, my goal is not just to learn to keep house, because I already know how, but to learn to do it effortlessly... naturally.
I read this as indicating that you are taking the approach to 'self-improvement/self-development' that really is the only reasonable approach!
ReplyDeleteWhile much of the advice (on the subject of s-d/s-i) is the destructive, 'tear down then build up' approach, what I hear here is your recognition that your world already includes the 'keeping of the house', it just may not be an active part of your worldview/reality.
Key to the the success of your efforts is seen in your (already) knowing that since 'you' do not have the skills you seek, the 'rest of you' * does and you should let her.
Often we are tempted to think everything is about what we think or what we know or understand...especially clarks! lol But if what you seek (as an addition to your world) is within the realm of your rogerian aspect, you will get the most out of it by approaching it from your emotional side! As you appear to be doing...good work!
*'the rest of you' the other two possible realities ( your rogerian or scottian aspect**)
** do not, I repeat, do not!!! go to your scottian aspect for help on the house keeping! lol (unless it is part of their 'presentation to the world' as your mother sounds, but in their natural environment, scotts tend to be a bit on the causal side, house keeperisitically speaking...
Oh! I have already found out that the scottian side is not a good place for me to go when it comes to housekeeping! All the fun is gone, as I work as quickly as possible to get the *stupid* job done, and yell at anyone who gets in my way! It is not the way I want to run my home. =)
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